Got a toothbrush?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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