Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
