He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
