I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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