I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize