She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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