So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
