Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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