i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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