It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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