Dude, just got a bummer.
A blow job from a homeless chick.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito