Me. At least after what I've been through.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.