One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.