Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.