I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
