first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
