dude i'm inner monologue high
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
