the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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