my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
