I only kidnapped one of them. chill
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
We talked him into tasing himself.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize