that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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