I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
