we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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