My nipple is on Facebook.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Randomize
