Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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