I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
