Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
