I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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