At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
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Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
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Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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