why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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