I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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