I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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