I'm going to jail i love you
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I need to align my fucking chakras
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