At least make sure they are 18
Why
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
