Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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