his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
