Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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