Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
