So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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