jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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