he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
