I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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