just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
