Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
whose parrot is this?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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