Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
