he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
