My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
