my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
You left your phone here
Wait...
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
