Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
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I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
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All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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