as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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