Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
