for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
