I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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