to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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