so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
