i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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