just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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