I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
