haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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