i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
