then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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