i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
