youre lurking in front of me
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
