you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
