i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
