having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
