And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
